Camp Deas, 11th Feby. 1862
My dear Wife:
I am in receipt of yours covering tracts and Advocate. The tract I read attentively and my experience justifies my endorsing every proposition of the author. Prayer is the leaven known to move heaven, the two edged sword that separates between sin and holiness, the life preserver of the Christian when the troubled waves of this worlds afflictions and troubles would over flow him. I trust I realize, it may be weakly yet truly, its mighty agency and necessity and employ it to my own good. Like the sinner in the last expiring struggle of Satan with his soul, throws himself meek and overcome into the hands and arms of a Saviour waiting to receive him, I now in the trials, troubles, anxieties and defeats which surround us, have no other help but prayer and turn to God for support and direction, and yet I feel that there is a veil between my God I would have removed. I am perplexed but not cast down.
I believe the Lord allows it to draw me into still closer communion with Him and to enable me to more fully realize His Glory when he deigns to remove the veil. I believe my outward conflicts have something to do with it too. My heart is oppressed for my country, both for its national and spiritual condition, and then I am beset by troubles as to my individual duty. I want to do, nay I mean to do, what is right. God being my guide and director, I recognize in our recent defeats His providence and wisdom. I believe it will eventuate to our good and His glory. It will arouse the lethargic. It will make us flee again to the rock that is higher than us, poor mortals, we would be made much of by the gapping mob, Hero Worshippers, because He made us the instruments to defend a just cause, but He alone must have the glory, and when as a nation we render it He will then give us the final victory.
At the mention of Bro. Wheelwright in yours, I have just written him a long letter and shall when I get through this write to David relative to his and the other boys’ plans for military service. The defeat of Gen. Wise’s forces at Roanoke Island has put new spirit in our soldiers and they are now seriously re-enlisting for the war. My Company only await my advice, and if I would agree to be their Captain they would all come forward for the war, but I do not see my way clearly yet. I am waiting for the Lord to mark out my duty. I lay it before Him in prayer, and believe that in His own time he will direct.
I duly received the sundry packages by Lt. Lyon, and through you return my thanks to all the kind friends. I pitched into Luly’s cakes and candy and enjoyed them amazingly, and for breakfast this morning had eggs and hominy.
I think it probably that the news from Roanoke Island will interfere with my proposed visit to Richmond. If so, we must be content tho disappointed.
Kiss the dear children. I am sorry the roads are so bad and the uncertainty of military movements render it inadvisable for little David to come down now. Remember me affectionately to all.
Yours ever affectionately,
Jno. S. Walker
I am very, very well, thanks to my good Heavenly Father.