21st – All quiet this morning.
Camp (illegiable) Lees Mill,
Sunday, 20th April, 1862
My very dear Wife:
This
Sabbath day on which you are all enjoying the rest of a kind Heavenly Father
provides for all, and no doubt with strong faith lifting your hearts to God for
his protection to those in the field, we are kept continually reminded by the
war of cannon and musketry that the enemy are before us and watching to strike
when and where they think we are most vulnerable. You will all no doubt
conclude that today is our battle day and await in breathless anxiety to hear
the issues, but we are still merely skirmishing, with an occasional attack,
which we have so far repulsed. When the general engagement does come off, it
will be most probably the bloodiest battle of modern times. Our men feel what
great issues hang upon their determined resistance, while the enemy, in great
strength, well armed, equipped and drilled, are determined to go on to
Richmond, they say. I do hope that this battle may decide the contest in our
favour, and be succeeded by a blessed peace. The best of Christians can but
imperfectly appreciate the blessings by which the Lord surrounds them in a time
of peace and prosperity until they have tasted of the bitters of war in their
own experience. They know not how to bless the Lord for his goodness and mercy.
David could never have written his Pslam of Thanksgiving if he had not waded
through the deep waters of persecution and trial. I have great confidence that
the Lord is going to give us a glorious triumph over our enemies, that He will
make bare his arm in our behalf. We are using all the means at our command
energetically to repel the foe. The Lord, we know, will do His part well. We
have good Generals, determined men, and will conquer tho we die. It may be this
fight will not come off for several days, and when it does, it will likely be
of several days continuance. McClellan is resolved to put everything on the
issue of this battle. He is entrenching himself and has an overwhelming force
under his command. He is a Catholic, and this being the Easter season he may
respect the days of the Church, but will no doubt strike by the middle of the
week. Johnson is our head, supported by Hile (of Bethel), Magruder, Longstreet,
and other tried men. Now let our Christian people humble themselves in fasting
and prayer before the Lord, and He will give us the victory. I went over to
Garland’s Regiment yesterday, expecting to see Kirk, but learned he stopped in
Richmond. I fear he is frolicking. I hope not. If you have not seen him, try
and find him and do all you can to save him and get him to come at once to his
company.
In the
Dispatch of the 16th inst. is an extract from a letter of a
correspondent on the Peninsular signed “Soldier”, lauding me. It is all trash
and imagination, not a word of truth in the whole. I did command a battalion
that went into the enemies’ lines reconnoitring, and with two men as a guard I
went to where the enemy had their cannon planted the day before, but it was
nothing. Thousands would have done the same if they had had the opportunity. I
regret that such foolishness should be penned or published. Whatever of
determination or bravery I have is from God, and I would give Him all the
glory. I ask him to give me a humble spirit, to choke in me any ambition for
name or notoriety and to direct my steps and lead me where I should go, and
direct me in the performance of my duty. As far as the world is concerned, all
is vanity.
I have
slept in my clothes every night since I left home, sometimes in the field,
trenches, and tent, always ready for an attack. My trunk and all of my things
have been sent to the rear, the trunk to Richmond. I hope yet to recount to you
all around our own fireside the trials of the hour. Ten days more and I think
it will be determined. Idle stories will reach you. Wait on God continually and
have your strength renewed.
I
received you letter of the 11th with the lines. It was quite
comforting to see your courage and faith. May the Lord sustain you. Kiss the dear
children and remember me affectionately to all friends.
Your
affectionate husband,
Jno.
S. Walker
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